It's my steadfast belief that humor has a very very important place in sex.

Sex, as we know, is also the ultimate vulnerability. People try so hard during sex to fulfill this roll of what people are supposed to be like during sex. I would claim that most people default to a stoic, serious state of mind, dripping with intensity. And that's all well and good. Sex (good sex anyway) Is indeed intense. But it's also supposed to be an act of enjoyment and, on some level, love. I mean, we've all had friends with benefits. I'm not making the grandiose claim that sex is always and strictly an act of true love, but there is, at least usually, love on some level. Emotionally, Physically, etc. Even if you just want someone because they're hot, there has to be some level of trust there, right?

In a healthy sexual relationship, you've got to have respect for yourself, and for your partner, and subscribing to these insane ideas about sexual normalcy is madness, because these ideas present us with the image of 'a way one should act.' And im sorry, but to me, that image is kinda stuffy, and certainly not comfortable

Sex is fun!

And it's easiest to have fun when you're comfortable. Sex should be an awesome adventure. And who the hell says you cant have fun along the way. When I'm having sex with someone i really flow well with, I'm seriously elated. Yes it's heavy, yes it's intense, yes the intimacy can be overwhelming. But when you can laugh, and smile, and realize the occasional ridiculousness of exactly what it is you're doing and not have that emotion "ruin the mood", but instead enhance the bond between partners, and therefore enhance the experience,  because of an inherent level of comfort present - that's fucking golden.

The best sex is fun sex. And fun sex only happens when you're willing to have fun, not trying to 'maintain an image.'

Also keep in mind that this in no way trashes on Roleplaying, which i hope we all indulge in occasionally, because that kind of arrangement is also facilitating the understanding and comfort im talking about.

Summary? Sex is like a really good conversation. You know those friends you just love talking to? Because you all keep the same pace, always on the same page, same sense of humor, all the inside jokes and tones of voice? We all have those friends. The one's you could sit at a diner bar with for hours, one cup of coffee after another, and just talk. Because the conversation is fulfilling. And you're not forcing it. You're not trying to make it Sound like a well written dialogue between two dynamic characters. It's just the way it is.

A great sexual partner is just like that. Ability to meet someone on that level. Have the same sexual inflections, the same pacing, the same sense of desire and the same tone and mood. The same inside jokes. The sex is great just because it is, not because you're trying to make it great.

You'll only find sex like that, or a conversation like that, if you're not forcing it. It just happens.

But christ is it good when it does.

-Etcee

Listening to: Ain't No Sunshine - Bill Withers

And yes, Nathan, I did just relate our hetero late nite diner talks to a successful sexual relationship. You know you love it.